Welcome 2010!!

As I was thinking about what to write to summarize 2009, I also noticed it's the end of a decade! In some ways I've come a long way since January 1, 2000: graduating high school, going on a mission, getting two degrees; but in other ways it seems like I'm stuck in time. Oh well. I guess my next post will have to deal with the passing decade of the "'00's". On to 2010!

Like my previous post, it seems half the year was dominated by negative things while the latter half seemed to have enough positive things to give me a better feeling about the year and hopes heading into 2010. Much of what I mentioned in my heroes and villains list will be mentioned here as well.

I began the year worried sick about student teaching, which started at the end of January. In the end, I was able to pass and do well enough, though it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. There were too many days I had to completely force myself to go to school because I was completely unmotivated. It wasn't that I didn't like the students or being a teacher, but student teaching is all the stress of actual teaching, with the added stress of constant observation and feeling like you are being measured not by how good a teacher you are but how well you emulate the cooperating teacher and/or supervisor's methods. Added to that other coursework I was taking during student teaching as part of my master's degree and outside stresses, and I have concluded it was by the grace of God that I finished it. By the end I got more into a rhythm and as I said, I really enjoyed the students I worked with. But all in all, I'm glad it's OVER. It ended April 26. I'm glad I will never have to student teach again.

Left: Last day of student teaching at Southeast Middle School (April 24)

leading the 7th grade choir in warmups; Right: MAT poster presentations

with my good friends Mari and Erica (one of my 2009 Heroes!!) at the KSU

student center in May. I finished my poster amidst a mostly empty

house as this was just a few days before we moved.

2009 also began with our home being placed on the market by our mortgage company (GMAC who just got ANOTHER $3.8 billion in bailout assistance...GRRRRR) to avoid it going to foreclosure. So, while I was student teaching, when I was home, I occasionally had to deal with prospective buyers who wanted to tour the house. There were multiple times the real-estate company wanted us to leave a key for them. Sure...open my home and everything in it to complete strangers. Riiiiiight. I had enough of a problem with it WHILE we were home. I think we had 3 or 4 in the three months it was on the market. We were told if it didn't sell in 90 days, then it would go into foreclosure and we'd be out sometime in the summer or early fall. As I blogged the day I found out, it was sold to our neighbors (who made my 2009 Villains list for this purchase!) for a fraction of what it was worth. Initially, GMAC wanted us out in like 2 weeks, but my dad was able to get us a month; and we needed every day of it.

Losing the house was more traumatic than I ever thought it would be. I secretly cried in the bathroom at my brother's apartment in Maryland the day I found out we were losing it. During the whole process I was rarely sad about it, but instead I was furious. I still find myself angry over the whole thing. Basically, the people affected most by everyone else's actions -- my mom, my sister, and myself -- had no say in anything and had the least amount of resources to do much else. It was frustrating to say the least. Thank goodness for family and friends who helped not only physically but mentally as well. Having a place that I considered mine ripped away from me was very difficult. I still find myself having dreams about being back there knowing it isn't ours but we still have stuff there and it's time to be gone and we still have so much to move. I haven't been back in our old neighborhood since we left May 14th and I don't know when or if I ever will go back. Something very personal and important was taken away from me and turned into something else.

Left: The house in happier days back in Spring '08; Right: The empty living

room one last time on May 14 right before we left

Having my graduation delayed until August was pretty rough too. I found out right as we were heading down the home stretch in moving and finishing student teaching. It was like my world was completely unraveling. I had already bought my robes and hood for commencement (which I never used) and had invited family to come. And then to find that everything that needed to be taken care of was little more than changing paperwork and could only be done by my absent-minded advisor (but of course the College of Ed claimed it was completely my fault) made it even worse. I finished my final project for my graduate class amidst a mostly empty house but still tons of stuff still needing to be packed and moved.

The good thing that came out of me not graduating was, of course, that Mom and I were able to attend Heather's graduation from medical school. That was a HUGE diversion from the stress we had just endured and was a welcome change of scenery even if it was just for a few days. My Spring Break trip down there was also a lot of fun and was a major highlight of the year. It came after several weeks of school and no major break (like 5 or 6 straight) so I was sooooo ready for it. I was able to make two more visits to Andy and Heather in '09, including a late-July trip to their new home in Nashville and a return trip with my sister Katie for Thanksgiving. Both trips were welcome breaks from the same-old-same-old here and a chance to relax.

Left: finishing off the extra frosting with Andy & Heather April 6...I would

find out the next day the house had been sold; Right: walking the streets of

Baltimore after Heather's graduation May 15.

Left: In front of the Parthenon in Nashville with Andy & Heather August 4;

Right: Thanksgiving at Andy & Heather's November 26.

Two of the biggest thrills for me this year were the shows I was able to be in: This is Kirtland! and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I knew coming into the year I wanted to do This is Kirtland! again, but Joseph, as I mentioned in a previous post, was something that just kind of fell into my lap. This is Kirtland! filled an important role as practices had just started not too long before we finished moving. Having rehearsal -- and later the performances -- was a wonderful distraction from what was going on here with moving and then unpacking and adjusting. Joseph proved to be a nice distraction, but not nearly as much mostly because I had already adjusted; it was more a help in dealing with not having a full-time job. But even then, both were things I enjoyed going to because I was doing what I love to do (perform) and I was around people in both casts that were easy to get along with and enjoyable to be around.

Left: Opening scene of This is Kirtland! as Sidney Rigdon;

Right: in my costume as Pharaoh with Amanda Davis (Narrator)

and Aaron Darr (Joseph) after the final performance of Joseph

December 20 at Weathervane Playhouse

Left: With Sarah Bailey (left), director of Joseph and Melanie YC Pepe,
producer of Joseph and director of the After School program for

Weathervane after the final show of Joseph December 20 after 2

shows and striking the set! WHEW!; Right: with the kids that played

my children in This is Kirtland! in front of the real Kirtland Temple July 24.

There were other wonderful events I was glad to be a part of this year, like my trip to Cleveland with Michelle to see Ohio State crush Toledo 38-0 at Cleveland Browns Stadium on September 19 (my first OSU game since 1996) and the amazing ward Christmas Sacrament program just a few days ago where I was able to sing O Holy Night and direct the choir. Of course I also enjoyed having some time to explore Kent history both reading and getting tons of pictures. Not only was the weather fantastic this summer, but I actually had the time to do something about it. I also really enjoyed getting to sub in Kent this Fall and work in the Akron Public Schools through Weathervane as part of the district's Akron After School enrichment program teaching theater games for an hour 5 times a week. Not only did I get to meet some great teachers and administrators at the school I worked at and at Weathervane, but I also made some good friends who were working in the After School program and in Joseph (love ya Marie, Robyn, and Melanie!).

Left: Michelle and me at Cleveland Browns Stadium for the

Ohio State-Toledo game September 19; Right: me with Marie Smith

at Friendly's after the final Joseph show December 20. Marie worked

in the crew of Joseph and was also a teacher in the After School

program with me. We had a lot of fun swapping stories from

our schools and after a show at a certain Applebees ;)

Of course one of the biggest thrills for me this year was getting to finally be an uncle. It will only be surpassed when I finally become a dad. I was excited for my nephew Nathan to be born, but getting to meet him this Christmas was so wonderful. It made Christmas, which at times was less than thrilling, a little less boring. Like I blogged last year, Christmas isn't as magical as it used to be for a variety of reasons, but having a baby in my arms for much of it made it a little more magical (especially at my Ridinger grandparents' house where we basically watch the younger cousins open presents) even though he slept through pretty much all of Christmas at both places! I'm hoping to be able to go visit Utah at the end of March.

Some various pics of me with Nate while he was here in Kent. The middle

picture is me trying out his Christmas present before I gave it to him :D

Left: How Nate and I spent most of Christmas at Derbys in the morning and

then at Ridingers (center) that afternoon!! Right: An update of me and

my sibs, December 31.

Personal Heroes and Villains of 2009

This has been quite a year for me. I had hoped to do another Christmas newsletter, but for one reason or another, I didn't get it done. Be it laziness, lack of motivation, or just being too busy, it just didn't happen again. Even then, I have been reflecting a lot about this year because I am truly happy to see it end. That's not to say some wonderful things didn't happen, but some pretty awful things did happen; things that have been more difficult to deal with than I ever thought possible. So I got to thinking about the people that really affected my year -- the good and the bad -- and why. Without further ado here is my personal list of 2009 Heroes and Villains.

JON'S HEROES OF 2009
Grandma & Grandpa Derby: Of course most my family (particularly my immediate family) is always up there, but this year my Derby grandparents really saved the day. When we found out we could possibly lose our house last year they did not hesitate to offer us a place to stay. When the unthinkable finally happened in May of this year, they not only helped us move, but opened their home to us for virtually nothing. It hasn't been perfect as we have meshed two households and two largely different ways of doing things, but we've made it work. They have sacrificed so much just to make sure we have a place to live and continue our lives and that we have the resources to get on with our lives from here. Words cannot express how grateful I am for all they have done for us just this year, not to mention for pretty much every year of my life. I do not know where I would be right now without them!

Elwin & Diane Robison: Moving was not a pleasant experience, but it was made even more unpleasant by not having money to rent a moving van and the fact that we were moving out of the house we had lived in for 26 years. This is where the Robisons stepped in. Not only did they volunteer countless hours to help us pack, but they also donated the use of their van and trailer to help transport things from our old house to Derbys. And no, this is not the first time they've come to the rescue. They've always been there and I'm grateful especially for the help they were in moving. Diane was especially helpful in getting things organized and helping Mom decide what to keep and what to get rid of, not to mention a moral support.

Charlie Carey, Nate Jeppson, & Christopher Bowers: These were three members of our local ward (congregation) who helped load and unload the many vanloads we had to take from the house to Derbys over the month we moved. It was so comforting to know we had some support from our ward family at a time of great need. It also made moving go just a little bit quicker. Thanks for just being there!!!

Erica Woolf: Erica was one of my friends from the Master of Arts in Teaching program I completed this May at Kent State. We first met as members of the same cohort in the Summer 2008 semesters and had our classes together for Fall semester 2008 and Spring semester 2009. When she found out about what was going on with us needing to move, she almost immediately offered her truck to help. When I actually asked her if we could use it, she not only brought it, but helped us move even though she lived around an hour from Kent and had two young daughters to take care of. Not only did I enjoy her company (and her adorable daughters!), but having her truck that day was a great help in getting some of our larger furniture items out of the house quicker. I miss you Erica!!

The Aamodt Family: I have to list the Aamodt family because they helped without even really knowing it. I had just found out we would be losing the house when I was down visiting Andy & Heather in April when Grandpa Aamodt died. Being down there, I attended the funeral with Andy & Heather. The Aamodts welcomed me like an I was family (I had previously met them at Andy & Heather's wedding) and really helped me keep my mind off what I would be facing when I got back to Kent, even when they were dealing with the loss of a loved one. I saw them again about a month and a half later when Mom and I attended Heather's graduation from medical school in Baltimore. We literally walked away from our home of 26 years for the last time and went straight to Maryland. Again, the Aamodts (including Grandma Robison!!!!) treated us like family and helped Mom and I feel loved and wanted. Looking back, I am glad we decided to do that even though it made the last few days of moving a bit hectic. I can't say enough about how the Aamodts helped keep my mind off of what had just happened.

Basically, all my heroes were those who helped us in some way and showed us true examples of what it means to be Christlike. Thank you all for being such great people and living what you believe.

JON'S VILLAINS OF 2009
GMAC: GMAC was the mortgage company that is responsible for the loss of our house. True, my dad shares some of the blame for accepting such an insane mortgage, but in the end GMAC is the company approved it and who obviously felt that money was far more important than keeping people in their home. Not only did they do nothing to help us get an affordable mortgage, but they did a short-sale on our house, selling it for less that $5,000 more than we paid for it in 1983.

The Colliers: Many would argue our former neighbors were just taking advantage of an opportunity that presented itself. Indeed, they even stated they bought our house for practically nothing for the neighborhood's sake to prevent it from becoming a rental house for KSU students. Whatever their reason, they did buy the house which resulted in our being forced to leave. On top of that they had the audacity to claim I was trying to burn the place down when I removed the motion detector lights on our front porch we had installed and I left the exposed wires there in the ceiling (apparently they were touching when they saw them). Before this all happened, I had a good relationship with them. We occasionally talked and seemed to all be on the same page about neighborhood security after Mr. Collier's parents (his other neighbors) got robbed in the middle of the day last summer. But the way this unfolded tainted my view. They had a chance to really be heroes or at least appear more benevolent when we needed a miracle, but instead it felt like they swooped in behind our backs and took full advantage of us like they couldn't wait to rid the neighborhood of us. They claimed they bought our house with every last cent they had for their destitute son, yet as soon as we left suddenly had money to replace every major appliance and make extensive repairs and upgrades to the house. Did I expect them to buy the house and let us stay? No, but I would've walked away feeling better if they had at any time talked to us and let us know they even cared, like finding out if we even had a place to go. Had my mom not gone over and talked to them we would've moved and they would've never said a word.

Cutler Real Estate: I know, the real estate company was just doing their job, but I guess I still see them as accomplices in this whole thing. Basically, we were not on the same team; their goal conflicted with ours so I had no motivation to work with them. Clean the house? Don't mention any major problems? Oh and having our privacy constantly invaded was just wonderful. I just loved having complete strangers walk through our entire house so they could pass their judgments and take inventory of what we owned.

Nancy Miller: Ms. Miller was one of the people I had difficulties communicating with last year whom I referred to as the "OGS Contact" in my post "My Angry and Accusatory side". While I already had a negative impression of her going in to 2009, it wasn't until April that she truly cemented her villain title. That was when I got a letter informing me that I wouldn't be graduating in May with my classmates. Why? It wasn't because I was missing any credits or hadn't taken the right classes; it was because my advisor hadn't changed my prospectus (list of planned classes) to include the substitutions we had agreed on and because a professor (who also happened to be that same advisor) hadn't changed my grade from an incomplete to a letter grade before the University's arbitrary deadline. In other words a simple matter of paperwork. So simple, in fact, that when it finally did get taken care of by my new advisor in May, it took all of one day for her to do it. Nancy Miller, though, is one of those people who seem to delight in putting students "in their place" as subjects and minions of the University. She has her little fiefdom and woe unto you if you dare question her royal highness. When I did come to her, she was not nice in any way and basically treated me like a total idiot, like somehow I was supposed to know everything about how the MAT program worked even though I had never been in graduate school before. Nancy Miller had a chance to be a hero by realizing that the spirit of the law (making sure students have all the necessary credits to graduate) was more important than the letter of the law (the arbitrary deadlines). All it would've taken was a few mouse-clicks and maybe a letter to someone who needed it. But no, exercising her power was far more important than showing any kind of sympathy or compassion, even as I dealt with one of the most difficult events of my life. And no, my negative experiences with Nancy Miller were not unique. Every other student I talked with who had to deal with had the same opinion I did of her. She was very pleasant and professional to her colleagues, but that pleasant nature vanished when she dealt with a lowly student. I hope one day she gets to see how her actions affected those she was supposed to be serving in the Office of Graduate Student SERVICES. See also my post "Wow can this year suck any more?!?"

Linda Walker: Dr. Walker was the aforementioned advisor and the professor I first blogged about at the end of the Fall semester last year. I usually referred to her just as my professor and/or my advisor when I blogged (also see "Enduring to the end"). She was my professor for one class Fall 2008 and she was the director of Music Education for KSU. I ended up having to do an additional 10 reports as her way of being gracious and not giving me a D in that class because of my mix-up in not turning in the required reports when I thought I had (A 'D' would've essentially been a failing grade and prevented me from graduating without retaking the class). I did them and turned them in as agreed on and waited for the grade to be changed. Well, the deadline came and went and nothing was changed, which contributed to my not officially graduating until August, as I previously mentioned. She also nearly botched my student teaching when she assumed it was the College of Education's responsibility to find me a supervising teacher. Only after I raised the red flag did that get taken care of and not a moment too soon. Had I waited any longer I may have had to repeat student teaching for no fault of my own. Of course she never apologized for that. But that seemed to be the story of my time with her as my advisor. Not only did that nearly get botched, but most of the time I felt like she was clueless about what I was supposed to be doing. Granted, I was the first music student to go through the MAT in 10 years. I knew that, so was very understanding and patient at the beginning. But I could only have so much patience when that person wasn't doing what she needed to to help me get through the program and had such an obvious dislike and disdain for me by the Spring semester I started wondering if I'd ever graduate. And then to top it off, I make a small mistake not turning in an assignment and she acts like I'm the world's worst student. All she needed to do to be a hero was do her job and she failed miserably by not attending meetings (she admitted that to me) and letting her personal feelings influence how she did her job in relation to me. I wonder if her resignation as director of Music Education at the end of the Spring 2009 had anything to do with me, but all I can say is that resignation came a semester too late. The icing on the cake was she couldn't even find the time to send me an e-mail that she was no longer my advisor after I had sent her several about getting the Prosepectus problem taken care or. The MAT director was the person who let me know that. It's sad because I initially liked Dr. Walker after working with her in high school through choir. Even initially as my advisor we got things taken care of and problems solved, but the more we met and talked, the more things got worse, especially after the whole report fiasco. It's a scary thought when the person who has complete control over your graduation obviously doesn't like you.

Basically, the people who made my villains list are people who affected my life negatively but had the chance to be heroes had they made different choices. Instead they chose to follow their own emotions or what the world dictates should happen rather than choose compassion, benevolence, or understanding. Basically, they took the humanity out of our interactions. It was frustrating, sad, and disgusting all at the same time and I'm glad it's over and I don't have to deal with these people anymore. Dealing with the above has taught me a lot about what forgiveness really is and how hard it can be and how much I need to work in it! Time to move on to bigger and better things!

Living in exile

One of the downsides of having lots of time is being able to really think about stuff maybe a little too much. It's been over a month since we moved, yet I'm still not totally over the move and what happened. As I said in an earlier post, it will be awhile before I'm really "over it." That's not to say it dominates my life right now, but it's never really far out of my thoughts. I've had frequent dreams we're still at the house packing with limited time or we're back there knowing it isn't our house anymore trying to get things we left there by accident. For people who have never gone through something like this, it is hard to understand why it was basically so traumatic to go through. On top of being thrown out of my own home of 26 years, I am someone who has great attachments to things, especially something that has been a part of me for so long. The fact that something so personal-- not only my house but my little area of the world, my refuge-- was taken from me without my consent makes it even worse. I now have a small idea of what it's like to be exiled.

That's not to say we were truly exiled, but in a way we were. We were forced out and cannot return. Of course we can go drive past it or even knock on the door, but that's it. It's not ours anymore. I have chosen to not even go into our old neighborhood, though I drive past it every once and awhile. The last two times I have driven past the road that goes into our old neighborhood I couldn't help but think about everything. The local Wal-Mart is nearly within viewing distance of our old house, close enough that when it opened in the mid 1990's we could ride our bikes there. So, when I have had to go to that store, I have to drive right past our old neighborhood. I try not to think about it all since I have other things to worry about-- mainly finding a job-- but inevitably I do and it's usually very painful feelings of sadness and anger. I am definitely learning a lot about the concept of forgiveness and it is not at all easy. Not only do I still harbor bad feelings towards the main culprits, GMAC, but also most everyone involved: the real estate agent and most certainly our ex-neighbors who bought the house. True, they were just "doing their job" but so were the Nazi death camp guards. So yeah, I basically all consider them as accomplices, so I really don't have more animosity towards one than the other. In the end, the almighty dollar soundly defeated humanity yet again. I do think not having to deal with them on a personal basis has made it harder to move on. I really don't have such feeling towards my dad even though he arguably played as much a role in this as anyone. The difference is that I still see and talk to dad, so moving on has been much easier. On top of that he actually has expressed remorse for what happened and actually helped us move. The same cannot be said for the other parties involved.

So yeah, this blog is helping me express my feelings about the whole thing and hopefully move on. I've decided the only way I will ever set foot in my old neighborhood again is if I am buying our old house back. Going back now would be far too painful, especially since I haven't moved into my own place yet, so I have nothing to say "well, I'm better off now than when we lived there." I think here I just need some time and some positive experiences to really help me move on and "get over it."

Lessons learned

Essentially, the whole moving crisis is over now, though I'd hardly say I am all settled and used to everything. I guess I'm lucky in a way my old neighborhood isn't right off the main road so I don't have to drive past the house and see it ever again if I don't want to. At this point I have no intention of doing so as it would hurt to much to see my house and my yard changed and in someone else's possession. I was reminded, though, on Friday when Mom and I were going to my piano lessons about what's going on there as she had to stop over there earlier in the day to look for some old books she left there. Apparently, our "poor" ex-neighbors who basically made it sound like they had to scrape together every last cent to buy our house for next-to-nothing, have enough money to replace such necessities as the back door, do work on the floors, and replace at least some appliances (all of our appliances were working...older yes, but hardly on their last leg). Call me stupid, but usually when you have just enough money you focus on absolute necessities like the roof getting fixed and such and maybe fixing the leaking basement?? She said they were "upset" that when I took the front porch flood light off I "left" the two wires touching and "could've burned the house down." Perhaps, but most likely it would've shorted out and tripped the circuit box IF they had turned on the switch, though turning it on would have been for no reason since there was no light in the other socket attached to that switch. They're just mad I took the light (and the garage light too). Honestly, at this point, if that house burns down or a tornado passes through it I wouldn't shed a tear because I totally feel like they'd deserve it. Call it revenge, call it anger, but it's how I feel. It would make me feel like "I'm glad we got out of there when we did." I didn't have any sympathy for their sob story to "save" the house from possibly being turned into a college rental (could've happened, but unlikely) and getting it for her poor son who lost his job. Cry me a river. And of course, the people who LIVED there (us) and had a high level of sentimental and practical attachment to the house had zero opportunity to buy it. We were non-important, powerless, virtually invisible spectators in the whole thing even though it affected us the most. No one cared what we thought or how this affected us in any way.

There are definitely some hard lessons I learned from this that I hope can benefit others who go through something similar or for those of you who know someone who goes through something similar. First, while our house was on the path to foreclosure, the bank (GMAC) put it on the market rather than letting it actually be foreclosed on. They started it out at its original appraised value and lowered it a few times after no one took it. Eventually it was sold for about $60,000, about half of it's appraisal value (which I think was too high anyway). So even if this foreclosure moratorium bill passes, people will still lose their homes if the bank simply sells the house since it won't be considered a foreclosure. Even selling our house for half of it's alleged worth got them more money than letting it be foreclosed and auctioned off. In the case where it's being marketed to be sold, make sure before it's listed that you specifically lay out what is yours-- what you intend on taking with you-- and what is part of the house. Once it's written in as part of the house, it's legally supposed to stay if it's sold. Such was the case with our relatively new garage door opener. I had hoped to sell it to make some money and spent a few hours taking it off the last day we were there. After all my work I come to find a few days later it was "part of the contract" and had to be returned, something I was pretty irritated about (I found out in the middle of Heather's graduation). They also tried to say the motion-sensor lights I had removed were "part of the contract" but I informed them that those were bought and installed by me and as such were not something the bank could write into a contract. Me putting them on the house did not make them property of the bank. I have plans to install them here anyway. So anyway, make sure you protect your property and know the difference between YOUR actual property and what the bank can claim as part of the house. The bank owns the house, but not necessarily everything attached to or in it.

The other thing I really learned about was how to handle help. We had to do the moving mostly ourselves; obviously we can't afford to save our house so we certainly couldn't afford to hire someone to move us or even rent a moving truck. Without the help of our friends and family I don't know what we would've done. First, I was a bit taken aback by the almost complete absence of my extended family; not just physical help but even seeing how we were doing. We all got together on Mother's Day (two days before we left the house for good) and only one of them asked if we were done moving (which we weren't). And no, I'm not talking about my extended family that lives in other states: I'm talking about the extended family that lives here in Kent and in the general area. It was like they didn't even know it was going on. I've noticed my Ridinger side tends to treat certain crises like they aren't happening; that's how they deal with them. That leads to the next lesson learned: offering help. The vast majority of the help we received was from members of our local ward (congregation) and even my friend Erica drove here all the way from Salem to lend her services and her truck. While this was all unfolding we definietly knew we needed help, but losing a home is such a traumatic and emotional experience, the last thing I wanted to do was inconvenience someone by asking them to come over for hours. On top of that, the stress with packing and sorting is so much (along with normal life still going on) you really don't want to take time to call a bunch of people nor do you even think about it. There's too much else to worry about. Sure we had a lot of people say "call if you need us" which I greatly appreciated, but in the end it wasn't really much help at all. I found the best way was to call us and see how we were doing and find out when we were planning on packing the car and possibly what else we needed. In other words, specifics rather than a general "call us if you need help" since we obviously DID need help. That's not to say I didn't appreciate the offers and recognize that people were aware and willing, but in the end it put another burden on us to go track them down and hope we didn't need help when it was inconvenient for them. The best service we got was having extra hands to load the cars and when people volunteered their truck, van, and/or trailer. It made such a difference in helping it go faster and allowing us to move larger things that we just couldn't fit in our car. But even more so, it was mentally uplifting to realize we weren't alone. So, call ahead, get specifics, and let them know when you can be there rather than a non-commital, general "call us if you need us." And for those of you who offered general help, please don't take offense or think we didn't appreciate the offers. But in retrospect and going through this from my end, I don't think we ever called anyone that offered general help because we just didn't have the time or energy (physical and mental!) to call. It was just one more thing to do on a loooooong list. I only see it this way after going through it.

So yeah, I definitely still harbor a lot of anger and frustration over the whole experiece; losing the house, how we were treated, the near lack of acknowledgement by my extended family this was even happening, and now the aftermath. It'll be awhile before I can truly say I've "moved on" and "gotten over it" and I'm definitely learning more about myself and the whole concept of forgiveness. And heaven help my ex-neighbors if I ever see them again. They will get an earful. At the same time, I am truly grateful for all the help we did receive from friends and family, particularly my Derby grandparents and the Robisons. Without the help there is NO way we would've been able to finish on time if at all and likely wouldn't have gotten any symphathy from our ex-neighbors and certainly none from GMAC (they originally wanted us out by like April 30 or some crazy day like that).

Adjusting for now

Well, the latest chapter in my life has begun as we said goodbye to our home of 26 years last Thursday before heading down to Maryland for my sister in law's graduation. I think the lengthy nature of the move and having as much time as I did to get used to the idea made it less emotional to leave, but I think I'm more angry than I am sad. I'm angry how the whole thing has unfolded and how the people it affected the most- mom, Katie, and me- had absolutely no say in what happened. It's still weird thinking it's gone. I mean, I know the house is still there, but is now in the possession of someone else. For pretty much my entire life, that was my space, my refuge, and now someone else is changing it, doing whatever they want to it; essentially ruining it. It would be one thing if we had sold the house voluntarily, but having it ripped away like this at the most inopportune time? That has made it all the more difficult and stressful. It was surreal walking through the house one last time and it being virtually empty. Mom says one day we'll look back and be thankful we were freed from all the problems of the house. I want to believe that, but right now, despite all the problems the house had, there would be very little that could make me glad to be free of the house. Outside a natural disaster or fire where the house and yard are lost or damaged really bad I really can't see how anything will make me be OK with this other than getting the house back some day. Even if I finally get a job and get my own awesome house, there will always be a part that hurts because we lost this house.

Some pictures right before we left to unpack the last load (we came back one more time later that afternoon). On the left is the living room; the right the kitchen.

On the left is a view of the basement. We left a few empty boxes and some old books that were probably moldy anyway. On the right is me in my empty room right before we left for the last time.

For now I am staying at my Derby grandparents' house here in Kent. Yes, it could be a LOT worse considering I still have a roof over my head, family, and even Internet access here, but it's hardly a substitute for what I had living at home, not to mention having a lot less space. I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but at the same time I'm not exactly thrilled. This is a sacrifice for my grandparents as much as it is for us since we had to condense an entire house into two bedrooms, the basement, and the garage while my grandparents have to put up with two extra people and a lot of extra stuff in the house, not to mention not having any extra bedrooms. I'm hoping I can get a full-time job as soon as possible so I can get my own place and really settle in. I've gotten settled here in the meantime, but not as settled as I was back at home. While I have my furniture set up, the vast majority of even the things in my room before the move are still in boxes and I don't have any intention of unpacking them. Part of it is not wanting to have to pack them all again when I do move while the other part is simply not having anywhere to put the stuff. While I have about the same amount of space here as I did in my old room, I have far less shelf space here and much less closet space, so most of the stuff in the boxes consists of my shelf items. Being here reminds me a lot of when I would go to Idaho for the school year. I'd move into my apartment and get fairly settled, but not too much so and only brought what I felt were necessities. By the third time I trimmed back what were "necessities" and downsized a lot of things too (like my computer monitor and TV).

I'm really glad Mom and I were able to attend Heather's graduation in Baltimore. It was a welcome end to the bulk of all this moving and gave us both a chance to think about something else for a little while. Granted, the graduation itself had it's "moments", but being around Heather, Andy, and Heather's family was so much fun. I also think someone graduating from medical school is an incredible accomplishment, so having my own sister-in-law made it even cooler. I am sooooo proud of her!! Once I knew my graduation had been derailed and then found out that the POPs concert at Roosevelt was going to feature a whole bunch of alumni, making the decision to leave was easy. Really, the biggest inconvenience was having a few less hours to pack the house, but we made it OK I guess. As for the POPs concert, yeah, the thought of seeing all the people who got all the opportunities in high school get even more opportunities was something I didn't want. The last thing I wanted to do was relive a bunch of painful high school memories. Having Heather's graduation to attend was a welcome and preferred alternative!

Notes on the larger pictures: 1. The last picture of the three of us in front of the house before we left. 2. About the only picture of me and Heather while she had her robes on...her mom took a picture of all the Ridingers together at the barbecue we had at Grandma Robison's later that day.

Updates

As I'm writing this I'm wondering if it will be the last time I post in this house. The phone will be shut off on Wednesday the 13th (well, shut off here...we will still have the same phone number at my grandparents' house) so once that happens, I won't be able to get online here. I don't think it's hit me quite yet that after next Thursday I will never be allowed to come here anymore, even with most of our furniture already moved out. Really, all that's left here are 2 beds, the piano, the couch (getting picked up in an hour) and the washer and dryer. That's not to forget all the loose items that are still around that need to be packed or disposed of. It looks like our last night here will be Tuesday night to Wednesday as the utilities will be shut off on Wednesday or Thursday morning. Since we will be going to Heather's graduation in Baltimore on Thursday, we have to make sure everything is out before we leave that afternoon. Being a part of this is similar to waiting for someone to die. We know the end is coming and we hate to see them go, but it's to the point now where we are ready to move on. Granted, I'd much rather have this house than not, but since we have no choice in the matter, I just want the moving to be over.

As for graduation, I still need to turn in the application for graduation, but I still need to make sure my prospectus (a sheet that lists what classes I plan to take) is amended with the grad workshops I took in the Fall. Of course I can't do that myself; I have to hope my advisor takes care of it. As I expected, the School of Music was no help and in their infinite wisdom determined that it was all my fault despite the fact that the grade change was not submitted by my advisor until after the deadline (yeah, I'd like to know how that was my fault too!). As for not changing my prospectus, yeah I totally missed the ONE line in the letter back in February that simply said my advisor needed to send a memo about the classes I took to add to it. So yes, I dropped the ball on that one, but I find it somewhat disgusting that I pay how many thousands of dollars in tuition and fees and the University can't send me one more crummy letter or e-mail as a reminder that I have outstanding issues and that the deadline is approaching. They were certainly capable of sending me notice well AFTER I could do anything about it! And I wonder if my advisor was sent a copy of that same letter too. If she was, she certainly didn't do anything about it either or even ask me what it was referring to.

Oh I'm still not totally done with school yet either! While I still need to take the Praxis PLT in June, I also have a poster presentation this coming Tuesday. All that involves is a tri-fold poster that highlights the action research I did this semester in my 6th grade music class. I just need to print it off and put it together before then, which will be a bit more complicated such most things here are already at Derbys' or packed away in boxes here. For the last few days in the house, my desk will be gone (moving it tomorrow), so the computer will probably be on the floor. Lovely.

The Unexpected

One of my worst fears was realized yesterday as I was informed that our house has been sold. Even though I knew it was a possibility that it could happen, I never really thought that anyone would buy our house as it stands now. As much as I love the house, I'm not blind; it has an enormous amount of problems that need addressed. In the end, the house was bought by our neighbors for just $4,500 or so more than my parents paid for the house in 1982, so in effect they paid far less than we did even back then. As it stands now, we have to be out of the house by May 15th, which is the day before I graduate. So, even though I only have two weeks of student teaching, I now have the added stress of packing the house up and figuring out what to get rid of.

I'm currently in Laurel, Maryland on Spring Break visiting my brother Andy and sister in law Heather. They got their own bad news yesterday that Heather's grandpa had passed away, though it was hardly unexpected as he had been very ill for some time. Today they are going to a funeral in Harrisonburg, Virgina (about 2.5 hours from here) and then tomorrow they have another one in this area (Silver Spring, Maryland). I considered going since I do know Heather's family (pretty much just from the wedding) and I am here, but decided to go to the service tomorrow so I don't crowd the car ride to Harrisonburg today and so the family can gather together. I am looking forward to seeing them again, though am disappointed I won't get to do the things I had planned for today with Andy and Heather, namely a trip to the Baltimore Visionary Art museum and an Orioles-Yankees game at Camden Yards.

As for the house, though, yesterday was difficult and I'm still adjusting to it. It feels like someone died almost. As I mentioned above, it was bought by our neighbors. My dad sent an e-mail out with some more details about everything and stated he was told "they are very sensitive to the situation and are afraid of a confrontation - by who I don't know - but they understand why the house is being sold and the situation that puts [my mom], Jon and Katie in." Personally, even if they said that I think it's a pile of BS because not once did they ever stop over and speak to us about the situation or see what we were planning on doing if the house was sold or actually foreclosed on. No, the only thing they know is whatever the realtor told them. And the whole confrontation thing? Are they serious?!? Gee, I don't know WHY we'd be upset they we're losing our house of 26 FREAKIN years and have to have our lives completely turned upside down and get to go "stay" at the grandparents house for who knows how long. It shows how much they know us...which is very little. We've lived next door for like 15 years or so and they don't even know how we'd react. I don't blame them for buying the house, but to say I don't feel somewhat betrayed isn't true either, especially in light of how no one really came to talk to us about the situation; they just swooped in and took full advantage.

As I stated to my mom and my brother and I talked about, the house is sold "as is" meaning we will be taking EVERYTHING of value, including any improvements made to the house that we own, like the garage door opener, the motion detector lights, etc. I also made it clear we are not doing them ANY favors in terms of cleaning the house and to be quite honest, I won't be doing ANY yardwork no matter how much the yard grows before May 15. Why should I spend any money on gas to run the mower for something that is being taken-- ripped-- away from me? So I hope they enjoy our meadow until then!

What's next isn't much of a joy either. I hate moving, but have never actually had to move an entire house. I've only done little apartment moves when I went on my mission and to BYU-Idaho each year. At this point, I will probably move in with my Ridinger grandparents since they have more room. My mom will go to my Derby grandparents. Not sure where Katie will go, though she had plans to move out anyway, just not this soon. While living with the grandparents is certainly not the worst aspect of this, it will be largely inconvenient, so getting a job so I can get a place of my own is now completely paramount. As I mentioned when this whole soap opera started, I won't be "living" with them, I will be "staying" with them. It's their house, not mine, so I will be an extended guest for the most part. Now WHERE I end up remains to be seen as well. I love Kent and have a lot of roots there, but now that the house is gone, one of the biggest roots is gone. I don't know how much I could take being in Kent but not being able to go "home." So leaving Kent has become a much larger possibility, all depending on where I can get a job, whether it be in teaching or not. And I don't even want to THINK about how lame holidays are going to be now. Ugh. If I'm still not in my own place by Christmas heaven help me!

Eh, I guess not

It doesn't look like I'm going to go through with this TV and phone plan after all. Thanks for all the comments for those of who you posted. In the end, it just doesn't look good, plus money is so tight here we should be trying to save as much as possible. It certainly isn't a case of me not wanting to get the TV or the phone service because I definitely want them. I have always enjoyed watching sports and more and more of the teams I enjoy watching can only be found on cable or satellite (except the Browns since the NFL has rules about games being on free TV). On top of that, most sports in general are on networks like ESPN and Fox Sports Net, so for now when I want to watch something, I have to drive over to my grandparents' homes. It isn't that far, but it's hardly convenient. There are other shows I enjoy watching that aren't on free TV and the phone service working with the TV looked pretty sweet, but in the end, even though I think I could afford it, it falls under "just because I can do something doesn't mean I should do something." And yet again, this is a "when I have a job..." kind of thing as much of my life has been...looking forward to that seemingly ever-distant time when I actually have a stable and decent income to be able to get some of the things I want to when I want them. I know being poor financially has its benefits (like learning how to spend wisely, working within a budget, being humble, etc.), but after being like that my whole life and always having to worry about money, it sucks! I'm tired of it! When does this madness end?

Speaking of madness I feel like I'm in Rexburg as far as the weather is concerned. It was all of 3 degrees this morning when I went outside and it's supposed to drop down to zero or below tonight. On top of that it's been snowing all day, so the roads are in pretty bad shape. We easily have a foot of snow on the ground as the 8 inches or so we got Friday night and Saturday has been added to by additional snowfalls during this week and no warm enough temps to melt anything. We did get enough sun yesterday to help create some pretty extensive icicles along the sides of the house. Usually we don't get much in the way of icicles because of the gutters but the snow on the roof is thick and is covering the gutters, so it made making icicles easy. I'll have to get some pictures even though I have a seemingly endless supply of pictures of this house.

Speaking of the house it appears we will have our first looker this weekend. On top of that the mortgage company has deemed they need interior pictures, so the realtor is coming sometime soon to get those. Talk about invasion of privacy. Not only that, but the mortgage company wants them in two days and just happened to pick a time when none of us are going to be home much during the day. Gee thanks! How sad that a property is worth more than a family's well-being. Makes me sick just to think about it! I did find out some interesting info on the county's website. It lists EVERY property in the county and who owns it along with pretty detailed info about each property. One thing that stuck out to me as I looked over the records for the houses on our street as well as of my family's homes in the area, our land is worth more than anyone else's on our street or in our family. It's the house that is worth so much less so the overall property value is the lowest of all the ones I looked at (also the smallest square footage). I wonder what makes our specific lot worth more than any other on our street (it isn't the largest lot). I will say the land our house sits on is pretty good. It's the house that has the biggest problems!

Do you like how this post seemed to flow right together? I even impressed myself how it's all connected! Woo hoo!

Call me crazy...seriously!

I received an advertisement from AT&T for their U-Verse TV and phone service and am seriously considering doing it. We already have AT&T high speed DSL and local phone service, so adding something else wouldn't be hard, but at the same time I'm torn since I don't know the future and money is tight. Part of me wants to take advantage of a pretty good offer (at least for a year), while the other part of me doesn't want to waste money or even appear to be spending above my means. So basically, I need someone to tell me "this is a terrible idea! Don't do it!"

Here are the reasons TO go ahead and do it:

• I can afford it. I pay the phone/Internet bill and could absorb the extra $20/month adding TV would bring. Each of us pays a certain amount of bills to keep the utilities on and my responsibility is phone and Internet. The current phone/Internet bill is just under $70/month which includes very limited long distance phone service since we have cell phones (well, Katie and I do!). With the U-Verse phone, we would have 1000 long distance minutes plus things like caller-ID so Mom wouldn't have to use our phones when she has to make long-distance calls (which she does pretty regularly for church stuff). The three together (TV, Internet, phone) would be $90/month.
  
• Come February 19 (unless President Obama has his way), we will no longer receive our analog TV signal like the rest of the country when the switch to digital TV takes full effect. While I do already have a digital tuner, I was less than happy with it as our antenna basically needs re-aimed and even that is no guarantee our picture will improve. It was annoying enough that I disconnected the tuner a few months ago and opted to use the analog signal until the last day!
• Having U-Verse would mean I have things like ESPN and other sports networks (and Nick @ Nite!!!), something I've always enjoyed having and watching.

OK, now for the drawbacks:

• While I can afford it now, I worry about graduation and the potential for a time when I don't have a job or help from my grandparents. Me getting any kind of job this summer would solve that problem, but still...
  
• It doesn't look good when you're in a house about to be foreclosed on and you're ordering life's extras like TV service, especially when the house is on the market! Along with that, if the unthinkable happens and some crazy person DOES buy this house, then what? While highly unlikely, it is not impossible. Granted, even if we cut every non-essential, we still couldn't afford the mortgage payments, but it still doesn't look good.
  
• Of course we don't really need any of this as we seem to be functioning quite well without extra TV channels or 1000 minutes of long-distance. Mom simply uses my phone for making any long-distance calls and when we want to watch something that is on a cable channel like ESPN, we simply go over to either of the grandparents' houses, both of whom have AT&T U-Verse TV (and HD TV's at that!).
• I'm not sold on Internet phone, which is basically what AT&T U-Verse Voice is. My main worries would be an extended power outage (which we had late this summer) and in dialing 911. One of the biggest reasons I like having a landline is due to what happens when you dial 911 on a cell or Internet-based phone. It doesn't go straight to your local emergency dispatcher like a landline would; instead it either goes to the nearest dispatcher to the call tower you make a cell call from (which may or may not be in the right jurisdiction) or it first goes to a call center that redirects the call to the local dispatcher, which can add time PLUS is dependent on making sure they have the correct current address. Granted, I have had to dial 911 once in my life (incidentally, it was done on a cell phone, so I know that one for sure), but you never know.
  

As you can see, I have reasons to go either way. Chime with additional insights and recommendations as you feel fit!

So it begins

The real estate company our kind-hearted mortgage company (none other than the latest bailout recipient GMAC) has hired in an attempt to sell our house has wasted little time getting things ready to market it. The agent came over on the morning of December 31st with my dad to just walk through and take notes and then was here again yesterday afternoon to take pictures of the outside, get measurements of every room but the bathroom and basement (we took those for him while he took the pictures), plus he also placed the "for sale" sign in the front yard. Lovely. I was told by my mom that he's a really nice guy and that he likes our hardwood floors (which desperately need finished again!). He's also willing to work with us in terms of visits so that we are here when (IF) he brings someone who wants to see the house. I haven't been able to find the listing online yet.

I'm sure the guy is a great guy and in a way I feel bad for him since he has to deal with this kind of thing (trying to sell a potential foreclosure). However, the bottom line is that his ultimate goal (selling the house) and our ultimate goal (staying in the house) clash unless we somehow bought this house, so like you would root for a favorite player on an opposing team to do well except when he's playing your team, that's how I see this agent. I wish him the best, but not on this sale. If he accomplishes what he's after, we're out of a home pretty quick. Basically, we're not on the same team! I felt like I was working against myself by cooperating with getting the measurements. About the only thing that got me through it was realizing that this agent is simply that: an agent. He isn't the source of our problems, though he does kind of represent them at the moment. Mom told us he has advised us to answer questions to any perspective buyers, but not to "volunteer information." Gee, I wonder why not. I was also somewhat irked to find that we're considered "tenants" in this house. TENANTS! We've lived here for 26 years as of this month and we're just mere tenants. It's insulting and humiliating at the same time, like we've been renting all this time. The only thing more frustrating is not having the power to be able to do anything about it until at least May, and even then it would be unlikely to do much until the late Summer or early Fall. The good news for us is that a house down the street (which is bigger and in MUCH better shape than ours) has been on the market now for almost a year, so the chances of this one selling are actually fairly low. There's another house in the neighborhood that I'm pretty sure was foreclosed on before the summer and has been unoccupied since at least last Spring (the wild overgrown lawn for most of the summer gave it away) that is also on the market. This house will be on the market for 90 days, so basically through the end of March/beginning of April. I'm so glad I won't have anything important to worry about in the meantime. Oh wait...

Notes on pictures: 1. The "for sale" sign in the front yard...ugh; 2. The sign at the end of our street directing any interested buyers to our house (not that it's hard to miss...there are all of 5 houses on our short street).

Good riddance 2008!

Well well, here it is, the last day of 2008. I must say I am not sad at all to see this year end! While no year passes without ANY good happening, it seems this year was extra full of challenges for myself and this family, not to mention the nation and world as a whole. All in all, this has been a rough year for a heck of a lot of people!

Of course the bad things that have happened to me and this family have been well-documented on this blog, at least the major stuff. The whole situation with the house is the obvious winner for bad news and gets 2009 off to a rough start. A lot of the grief I have had with certain people at Kent State has had a shadowing effect as well and again, some of that will carry into 2009 too. The house situation seems to be related to a lot of the other problems we have, family relations in particular, but the good news is that it will almost certainly be resolved in 2009. Whether or not that resolution is to our liking remains to be seen of course. The only thing that could make finding out about this situation any worse would be actually losing the house. What I do find interesting is that while most of our major problems have to do with money, they are largely unrelated to the economic problems around the world. Even in the 1990's when the country was booming, we were never that well off.

For me, the biggest thing I am looking forward to is graduating in May, though before I get to that point two things have to happen: I have to pass student teaching satisfactorily and I have to pass another section the Praxis. Both are things I am certainly capable of, but nevertheless they are hardly simple things, especially student teaching. The good news is that I already know most of the students I will be teaching and they know me, so going in come January 26 won't be a huge event or much of a mystery. Once I get through that part of my life, I can finally move beyond being independent, something I have longed for.

With all the bad stuff that has happened, though, I thought I'd look back at the year and reflect on the good that has happened. First, we are still in the house and I am grateful for that. When Dad told us in May there were fears we would be out of the house by the end of the summer. Only when that didn't actually look imminent did I finally start taking care of summer projects, most of which I did after I bought a much-needed chainsaw. Another plus for 2008 was graduate school even though it has brought it's fair share of frustration and stress. My summer classes were things I actually enjoyed going to and the people I was around were people that made me feel good about myself. That carried over into Fall, and while I really almost detested all of my undergraduate classes (except the Instrument for Choral Majors class), I enjoyed at least being at my graduate classes . Not only did I enjoy the people I was around, but I also enjoyed the class structure and actually having meaningful discussions. My undergrad classes really lacked that. Along with that, I have enjoyed being at Southeast Middle School and Southeast Intermediate School and am mostly looking forward to student teaching there at the end of January.

One of the biggest things I was grateful for and got to do a lot of in 2008 was sing, particularly the national anthem. I lost count how many times I did it in 2008 as I sang for almost every home game for both the men's and women's basketball teams at Lake Erie College in Painesville, Ohio and I got my fair share of KSU games too. The game in January against Akron was a highlight, but I thought I did better at the game against Miami just over a month later, which had almost as big a crowd as the Akron game. I have been able to sing at 2 more KSU men's games already this season, plus I got to sing at this community breakfast in Stow on July 3 which was a lot of fun and a great experience. It's funny yet sad that the biggest chances I've had to sing, despite being a music major, have been in athletics, not in anything from the KSU School of Music or the BYU-Idaho Department of Music. The only solo time I ever had at either school was in studio class (called "master class" at BYU-Idaho) and my own recital in December 2006 where about 15 or less people showed up. It wasn't that I didn't try out for solos (though eventually I did), but I was just never "what they were looking for" I guess. Along with singing the national anthem, I got to go to a TON of sporting events this year, mostly high school and college and a few Cleveland Indians games. I always enjoy attending sporting events, though too often I do so alone!

Of course I got a good amount of singing time in church too both at my ward and at the stake level too. It was pretty exciting to sing for a stake meeting, which I did back in September. I really enjoyed singing in the Christmas program at Church on December 21st as well. I love to sing and while songs like the "Star-Spangled Banner" can be very difficult, I really enjoy singing them. The "Star-Spangled Banner" in particular can be very difficult for even experienced singers, but I have come to really like it (come to think of it I always have) because it opens itself to a lot of creativity and interpretation, plus I have always thought my voice fits it pretty well.

Another highlight for me was the trip I took with Katie to visit Andy and Heather in the Washington, DC area during Spring Break in March. Not only did I get to see several sites that I had been wanting to see, but I got to spend a lot of time with Katie and of course Andy and Heather. It's funny how being apart changes relationships. Growing up my brother and I were very different people who had similar interests. I couldn't stand to be around him, particularly in high school. It was bad enough that, as I have mentioned before, I only wrote him a few times while he was on his mission because I really didn't have that much to say to him. Well, since he got back from his mission, we have gotten along much better and enjoy being around each other, though since then we haven't been together much over a week. Even during Andy and Heather's latest Christmas visit, we didn't see them every day (they were here for a week). Added to the better relationship with Andy is Heather. She's just someone I enjoy being around because she's so genuine. Even though we really didn't spend a whole lot of time with either of them while we were in the area (they were both busy with work and school), the time we were able was a lot of fun. I'm very anxious to see where they end up for Heather's residency!

There are many other joys in my life that I experienced or began in 2008. For one, I'm still in Primary playing the piano, plus I have had the awesome experience of being executive secretary and all that comes with that calling, plus as acting choir director, I have been able to do a lot more now that we have Brother Brian Ebie at the helm of our music program and at the organ. What a difference! I've also really enjoyed teaching piano to my three students. The family is a joy to be around and I'm learning a lot about being a teacher at the same time (plus it keeps me on my toes with my own piano playing along with Primary). And let's not forget the purchase of my Ipod Touch and my super awesome laptop. Both are things that I have used and enjoyed since getting them this summer.

There are many little things I need to focus on this coming year, mostly things like reading my scriptures regularly, writing in my journal regularly again, and getting to bed at a consistent time, epsecially since I'll be at school so much from now on. Once school starts I'll get on a pretty regular schedule since every day will be the same classes for me and time I need to leave. But anyway, there were definitely lots of wonderful things (sure there are more I'll remember soon!) that happened in 2008, but it goes to show the magnitude of our current situation and how much it is hanging over us. Here's to a better 2009!

One problem down...

Good news to report in terms of our furnace: it's fixed AND didn't need replaced. YES! We had to go about two days without central heat, but I was pleasantly surprised how warm we were able to keep the house in spite of that. Granted, it wasn't as good as having the furnace, but at least we weren't freezing or uncomfortable. It helped to have three space heaters and the oven going...not too efficient for the electricity, but it got the job done for the day and a half we had them. Turns out the furnace had some major blockage at the base of the chimney. Of course blockage like that can lead to carbon monoxide poisoning, but this furnace is designed to shut down if it detects blockage, which is exactly what it did (and yes, we also have a carbon monoxide detector in the house). The blockage was mostly dirt in the bottom of our chimney, which I got out with a garden shovel. We had the father of a friend of ours from church come over and look at it on Wednesday. While it wasn't free, it was much less expensive than if we had called the regular repairman or gone ahead and gotten a new furnace. I'm glad we don't have to worry about a new furnace for the time being. Not only is it not in the budget, but with the uncertainty of our future in this house, I'd hate to spend all that money on something like that and then lose the house.

I found it interesting that my dad had a comment on the furnace which I found out about via my grandmother yesterday when I was over there. I guess he told her the furnace isn't that old and shouldn't need replaced. While it isn't THAT old, it isn't exactly new anymore. I'm not sure exactly when we got it, but it was sometime while I was in elementary school and I finished there in 1993, so I'm guessing it was sometime around 1991 or 1992. The biggest problem it has, however, is that in January 1994 our basement flooded with nearly a foot of water after the basement drainage pipe collapsed and the snow melted. Because it was still the middle of winter, the furnace still had to run. The result was an incredibly damp and humid house at the time and now significant rusting in the furnace. On top of that the basement has always been a pretty damp place due to poor drainage and waterproofing, so that only contributes to the quicker deterioration of the metal and pretty much anything we store down there that isn't secured in plastic!

As for my grade issue, I have an appointment scheduled with the director of the School of Music on Tuesday at 11 AM. I checked my posted grades and the grade for this particular class is currently labeled as incomplete ("IN"). That's a good sign in that she has acknowledged my issue; however, she has not e-mailed me yet since that last one-liner about respect and appropriate tones, so I really don't have a choice but to go through a formal grade dispute with the director. On a side note, I noticed that KSU keeps my graduate and undergraduate grades separate, so I have two GPAs. I found it interesting-- and frustrating at the same time-- that the classes I liked the least and had the most trouble in were my undergrad classes. Most of my problems were due to simply how those classes were structured and what and how the material was covered. Let's just say I'm glad I never have to take an undergrad class ever again!

Two cars, one garage...WOW!

At long last I have an opporunity to blog again. There have been many things I wanted to blog about over the last two weeks, but I just have not had the time in worrying about and finishing the semester. As of right now I am done with all of my finals and projects; however, I just found out about a grade that I am very irritated about, so I can't totally close the book on this semester yet. Let's just say if things don't change in the next 24 hours in regard to my grade in my methods class, hell WILL be raised.

So, on to better things. Since Dad moved out at the end of October, we have slowly been reorganizing and cleaning out the house. Not only is it in anticipation for a possible relocation should things not work out, but just something we have needed to do for a long time. As I blogged last month, the first major project was moving mom's stuff out of the living room and into dad's old room and reorganizing the living room, something that was started the very day Dad officially moved out. It has been nice since then to actually have a fully functioning living room again that we feel comfortable inviting guests to and which we enjoy spending time in! Katie has been the main force behind the various other projects, which include the massive cleaning and reorganization of the basement and the cleaning and reorganization of the garage. The basement is still a work in progress, but Katie has done quite a bit of work down there with some help from me in moving heavier things as needed and taking out garbage and recycling. Last week we celebrated the completion of her garage project. Again, Katie did most of the work while I helped move the heavier things and figure out how to position things to make them all fit. In the end, we were finally able to do something that hasn't been done here in over 20 years: store two cars in our two car garage. WOW! While it may seem like an insignificant feat, it was pretty exciting when we not only fit both cars in, but fit them with the lawn mower and several other things still inside the garage. Of course my car is not one of the 2 cars inside, but it was still exciting because I didn't think we'd be able to fit 2 cars and the lawn mower. Guess the garage is bigger than we all thought! Now, if we could just get some more gravel so the driveway is a bit easier to maneuver for Katie's side of the garage. Right now it's a bunch of muddy ruts.

It has been interesting these last two months or so in the amount of stuff we have thrown out or put out to be recycled. I'm sure the garbage and recycling people are wondering where all this stuff is coming from! It was like Dad was the plug in the dam: as soon as he left, the floodgates opened and things have just been put into motion and the flood of garbage has been (and continues to be) emptied out of the house. Granted, there are still some major issues to be addressed here as we have several appliances which could go at any day (fridge, oven, dryer, furnace) and some repair issues (our tub has a crack in it, we still need a screen door for the back, and we have mice getting in some holes that need to be plugged!), but they don't seem so daunting. I just wish May would hurry up and get here so I can graduate and get a job. While money doesn't solve everything, I can't think of a better solution for most of our current major problems!

On a side note, today, December 12th, is the day I entered the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in 2001. Hard to believe it's been seven years since then! The only reason I've really been thinking about it is because my cousin Cameron just entered the MTC Wednesday, so essentially the same week I did since new arrivals only come in to the MTC on Wednesdays. He is headed for Taiwan, but will be at the MTC in Provo, Utah for about 3 months learning Mandarin Chinese. For our extended family, he is the first close relative outside my immediate family to go on a mission, so this is exciting!

Notes on pictures: 1. Mom's car on the right and Katie's car on the left in the garage. I took it at night since that's the only time they've both been in the garage lately! 2. The garage empty so you can see how the rest of the stuff actually fits... 3. My brother Andy and me at the MTC in Provo, Utah the day I officially began my mission seven years ago today. I had no idea what was ahead of me in that picture...NO idea.