Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Well-intentioned

Well, to start there isn't any news on the house front. Amidst all this we all seem to be remarkably calm and have a quiet reassurance that somehow, some way, this is going to work out. I still can't explain it nor even attempt to say "here's how it could all work out..." but something tells me it is going to happen. I wish I were at the other end of this story so I know what happens...the suspense is killing me! LITERALLY!

I've been thinking about something in relation to all this. While I've been greatly helped and strengthened by the wonderful comments I've been getting, one thing I've heard from several people over the time we've known about this is basically "don't worry about it since you have no control over it." For just about anything else I'd agree because there's no point in getting all worked up for something that's going to happen regardless of what I say or do. But this is different. Why? Well, for starters it affects me directly. It's hard to not worry about something that's going to directly affect me in a BIG way (stress, emotionally, physically) even IF there's nothing I can do about it. The fact that I can't do much of anything about it makes it even more difficult to deal with. See, in most things I can't do anything about, the end result either doesn't affect me at all or affects me indirectly which is why it's easier to just not worry about it. For instance, when my sister got married, there were a host of reasons why I didn't think it was a good idea and I made those clear to her. As that unfolded, I began to really understand what it meant to just not worry about it since there was nothing more I could do that was productive. I had done what I could and now it was out of my hands. Now, I could see someone saying, "well why not apply that here?" and they'd be right except for one major difference: my sister getting married didn't have a direct impact on my life; it had an indirect effect. In the end, little changed for me. In losing the house, however, that will be a HUGE change for me not to mention it will be a very stressful time with school added into having to pack up and move everything here and deal with the emotions of losing my childhood home of 25 years. So while I'd LOVE to not worry about it, it's much easier said than done. It's along those lines of things that sound good to say, but show that the person saying it really doesn't understand what the person/people experiencing it are actually going through and feeling. Since the person saying it doesn't have to worry about losing their home, it's far easier to tell others not to worry.

Now, if you are reading this and saying "oh man, I think I said that to him," rest assured, I'm not angry or anything of the sort, so no need to apologize. I appreciate all the comments and moral support I have been given and recognize that it's not easy to say the "right" thing. I also understand that those who have said that to me have meant it in a loving and caring way to help me feel better. Let this be a learning tool for all of us so when something like this happens to others we can be an even greater support to them.

Now, I do want to report a little bit of progress on the academic front. I registered for two online "workshop" classes to satisfy the holes left in my schedule due to the fact that I do not have to take Reading in the Content Area (but since it was an undergrad class it cannot count towards my masters degree) as well as the fact that the methods class I have to take is an undergrad, so it also doesn't count, so I was short 4 graduate hours in my total. I signed up for two 2-credit workshops that both deal with technology; one in podcasting and one is using Microsoft Office Access in any profession, including teaching. They each last about a month. While I am still a little irritated I have to take extra classes, at this point I'm ready to just get them done and over with so I can move on. I did make it known to the director of the MAT that they need to seriously evaluate how this program works with the School of Music because the two are almost not compatible with each other. Because I'm not a music graduate student (I'm a secondary education student), I can't take any graduate music courses, so all the content classes I've had to take this semester don't count towards my degree; rather, they are for the teaching aspect. I don't see why there can't be a way so I can get the classes I need to be a good music teacher AND get the credits I need to get a masters degree. The biggest problem is, of course, that I am the first music student to go through the MAT in 10 years and second in 18, so it's not something they have had to deal with for awhile. Even with that, now is the time to get things fixed so this doesn't happen to whoever the next music student is who comes through. Honestly, I think this is a better plan than just going straight through the undergrad music education program. More expensive, yes, but since teachers have to have a masters degree or the equivalent (30 graduate hours), why not get it done in one year when it's still fresh, plus you get the added benefit of graduate education courses and smaller classes?

3 comments:

Allredigans said...

Hey I'm learning Access too for my job. I'm not using exactly the way it's intended right now, but I'm learning a lot and it's a pretty cool program. Let me know if you learn anything cool.

Btw...about me getting married and everything...I know you were worried at the time but looking at where I am now, everything worked out ok, right? Were any of your worries really justified? Just curious.

Good Luck with the house and everything...I'm worried but I kind of have the same feeling you guys do. I know it doesn't affect me directly like it does you but it still affects me quite a bit. It's my childhood home, too, besides, it's the home of my family. I hate seeing you guys go through stuff like this. Did Mom talk to the bishop yet?

Good Luck with everything, we're praying for you guys.

Jessie Austin Kohl said...

Hang in there friend. i know things look dismal now, but one day you are going to look back on all this and see all the positive things that have happened in your life because of all the negative that we go through.

Anonymous said...

about the house ... i always like to envision all of the scenarios that could happen, just so i'm prepared for what does happen. does this add extra stress into my life? i don't know, but it helps me face what happens with a little more confidence. :)

oh, and about access - more power to you ... i can't stand access! :( yuckie poo! i believe i can honestly say that i am allergic to access. so there, access! :)

xxoo tina