Rank-and-file

Current mood: annoyed

So I've been thinking lately about my current status in life and it hasn't been pretty. Lately I've been pretty frustrated with my life, mostly because I'm still in college at 24 and so I don't have a degree, which also means I don't have a steady, well-paying job yet. I long for the days when I can be independent and not have to worry about accumulating debt or living at home. Most days I don't mind living at home (I'm only home for four months during the summer), but I can't wait to be on my own, just for the sake of being on my own. I also long for the day when someone, somewhere will notice my talents and abilities and give me an opportunity to express them and further develop them. Currently I work at Geauga Lake amusement park in Ohio and despite the fact that I'm four years older then the next oldest crew member, I'm "out-ranked" by three other people on my crew. I have as much clout at the park as the average 16-year old employee despite being 24. The only thing I'm known for at the park is giving good spiels. Just today I was really not feeling too well about working there, but some of my co-workers were getting on my nerves too.

I'm also doing this show, "This is Kirtland," a show I did last year as well. While I technically have a different part this year, it's still a pretty small part and that's frustrating to say the least. I really feel like people in the show think I'm some sort of musical novice who just likes to do it all for fun, but really doesn't have much experience. I'm a seniot music major and I've been in several shows since I was in elementary school, although I haven't had a major role in a production since I was in eighth grade. I definitely feel overlooked and largely ignored in both areas right now and being "rank-and-file" and average doesn't sit well with me. I really feel if I was given a chance I would do well in a leading role, but no one seems to agree with me.


Comments

First comment deleted

JRid (Jon); June 25, 2006
Thanks...good to hear from you! Nice to see someone's reading my blog!

Dorese; June 25, 2006
Stick with it and things will look up! I know you feel "old" at 24, but I know many a 27 year old who is still in college (my husband being one of them) and waiting for the day to stop going home every summer and mooching off his parents, and finally step out on his own. You have a lot to offer, no matter what you do or where you go. Cheer up, and stick with it! Things will get better!

I*C*Y*U*N*V (Chynell); July 1, 2006
hey you dont just have good spiels! You are excellent at everything you do. Honestly! I wish you were my _ _ _.